Dividends

When my oldest child was born eight and a half years ago I was 265 + pounds. I had stopped counting after 265. My three children have never known me as anything but overweight and breathless. Although I'm not at my goal yet, I am now down to 215 pounds and in the best shape my children have ever seen me in.

Last night at my parent's house I got to reap some of the dividends of my hard work. At one point in the evening while inspecting my dad's garden with him, my daughter stole the ball cap off my head and took off running, giggling insanely as only little girls can do. A few years ago my reaction would have been to call after her to give me my hat back. But, instead I took off on a sprint right after her! When she saw my hot pursuit, she squealed for her brother to help. My six year old son joined forces with his older sister as they played keep away from the old man.

We ran and ran around the back yard, as I hunted them down one at a time, the kids giggling and screaming with delight. Eventually we all ended up on the trampoline where a giant wrestling match for the hat ensued. In the end we all lay panting on our backs looking up at the lavender sky as the summer sun slipped under the horizon.

It felt good. It motivated me to continue on this journey and see it to the end. I want to be there for my kids. I want to be active and healthy for them. It's moments like last night that motivated me to start this difficult process in the first place. And I gotta say. . . it has all been worth it.

Milestones

I've let a while go without posting to my blog, so here's a brief recap of what's been going on. First of all, I am glad to say that the weigh loss has been coming along pretty good. I think I've been averaging about two pounds lost a week. The last time I weighed in a few days ago I hit 214.8 lbs. I was pretty stoked to hit under 215 lbs. It's kind of a mile stone for me. A few years ago, I did Body For Life for five weeks and was doing great. Then for some reason when my last son was born I just completely walked away from it, and gained all my weight back. Well, I have officially passed by the weight I was at when I abandoned my last attempt. So, this is a major milestone for me. Now to keep pounding away at the fat.

This week is going to be pretty tough though. There have been a lot of call ins at work and we are very short handed which has forced a lot of overtime on those of us left. I will be working about 40 hours overtime this week by the time it's all done. Not much time for getting workouts in. I am trying to continue eating right for the most part, but have had a couple free meals. Plus, I am not getting good sleep which I hear is essential for good weight loss and muscle building. For example: I got forced to work a twelve hour shift (not counting the two hours it takes to commute back and forth) yesterday - Father's Day. I wasn't very happy about that, had to miss my Dad's BBQ. Then while I'm here, a guy calls in for the night shift which caused a split shift. Basically what that means for me is I got to go home at 7pm but had to be back by 1am to start an eighteen hour shift. So yeah, going to get about two hours of sleep out of the next thirty six hours.

These types of things happen in life once in a while. I'm expecting that this week I probably won't be losing weight. I'll be happy just to maintain, but I won't be surprised if I gain a pound or two just because of the hectic circumstances and lack of time to plan out good meals and working out. That said, the key is I'm not all down and depressed about that fact. In the past, a week like this would have been enough to knock me off the wagon for weeks. But, this time I feel so much more in control of things. There's not this desperate feeling that I'm losing control, or an overpowering pull to give in. I know that when these awful days are behind me, I will unceremoniously and quietly slide back into my regular routine and move on with my weight loss goals.

For now, here's to reaching a milestone!

Over and out.

The Real Power of The Mind

Well, today was the big weigh in. According to the scale I lost one pound this last week, bringing me down to 219 lbs on the dot. That brings me to a total of about 13 lbs since I started this seriously. One pound doesn't seem like much, but it's still a loss, and I will take what I can.

On the bright side, I think I had one of those weeks where maybe I traded a little fat off for muscle. I'm really feeling it this week in the fit of my uniform and gun belt this week. I think I lost inches this time around as opposed to just weight. I really need to invest in a body fat calipers, or at least just start taking measurements to guage my progress as well. In a way I guess I do take measurements. I always am aware of what hole on my belt I'm using, and how close I am to graduating down to the next hole. Or how much looser other clothes are beginning to fit. But, that is going just by feel more than actual numbers. I will have to make an effort on my next days off to get the measuring tape out of my wife's sewing kit and at least take some measurements.

I wanted to take some time to write more about the mental side of things. Just that, this morning I was listening to a radio talk show, and there was a phsychologist on as a guest. He was talking about the power of the mind, and here's a couple very interesting points he brought up: Apparently they've done some tests on people with multiple personality disorder and discovered some extremely strange things. For example: Some schizophrenics actually have thier eye-glass prescriptions change from personality to personality. And, while one personality can be really allergic to cats, when they switch to another personality the allergy is gone!

Stuff like that! Sounds hard to believe, but what does that tell us about our minds? It kind of goes along with what I've read in Tom Venuto's writings about reprograming our brains, and convincing our subconscious minds of what we are supposed to look like. I wonder how many weight loss enthusiasts are out there, that are aware of just how much our mind power can come into play when trying to get into shape and lose fat. I am just beginning to chisel at the tip of the iceberg, I think, but it's a subject I intend to explore more deeply.

By the way, the picture above is of Norman Bates from the Hitchcock movie, Psycho. He knew the power of the mind. = )

We Are What We Think

It's still a few days away from my weigh in, but I'm feeling pretty good. I had to put on my Sunday go to meetn' clothes this morning, which I haven't worn in about a month and I was pleasantly surprised by the fit of my pants. They were nice and loose. I had to put my belt on the third to the last notch. I could have gone one more really. So that was cool.

I'm pretty proud of my compliance this week to my program. I've stuck to the meal plan pretty good, and have been getting my workouts in too. Good ones.

Which brings me to my other thought. The importance of visualization. It's important to continually visualize what you'd like to see yourself looking like. The other day, I was running on the treadmill while listening to the Beowulf movie score on my ipod. I know it sounds a bit silly, but for some reason I really was getting caught up in the music. As I ran scenes from the movie played in my head, and I just kind of got stoked, pumped, energized. . .whatever you want to call it.

In this newly motivated state, (maybe it stems from my viking heritage) I bumped up the treadmill to a faster speed. It wasn't long before the sweat started to flow. the muscles started to burn, and my lungs were heaving for air. With the thunderous strains of the music score roaring in my ears, I locked my own gaze in the mirror. For a moment in my mind I became Beowulf. I wasn't running on a treadmill anymore, I was locked in mortal combat with the monster Grendel.

It's funny now to think about it, but I can't deny the powerful effect it had on me at the moment. I was pushing myself harder and longer than I normally would have. Since then, I've been thinking about how much of a mental game this all is in the end. How much of our ability and potential are hidden and locked away behind doors of self doubt, fear, laziness, or complacency. It's all a mind game. Our bodies are merely robots that only react to the input we give them. Calories in vs calories out. Over eating is a mental problem. An inactive, sedentary life all stems from our minds.

Just some things to think about I guess.

Over and out.

No Time For Contentment

I have now reached a point in my weight loss and fitness efforts where I have been before. I am far from my ultimate goal of six pack abs, but have also come kind of far too. You have to understand something about my personality. Something about myself that I have known for years. I am laid back and easily content. I am not typically a hard driven, goal oriented person. I have to set a goal just to set goals.

My current fitness level is about as far as I usually get before dropping off the program and gaining my weight back. Not because of discouragement. It is my own success that is my enemy. At this point I am feeling pretty good about my accomplishment so far. My clothes are fitting much more loose and I can see and feel a difference. And there is a part of my personality that now says, "Alright that's pretty good. Let's settle down and take it easy now for a while." Basically there is a part of me that is content with my current fitness level.

The problem is I know that deep down, I know that this contentment leads to complacency, and that leads to failure. Thankfully, this time around I am aware of these self sabotaging tendencies of my past. This time around will be different. Not only am I shedding pounds of fat, but along with that fat in a way, I am also attempting to shed some of the old me. That part of me that back in high school just barely got good enough grades to keep my good student discount for my auto insurance, even though I could have gotten straight As if I had wanted to. That part of me that has never bothered to set goals that are too hard, or venture out of my comfort zone.

So, I'm writing this particular post to myself. Do not sell yourself short by deciding to be content with where you are at now! In the end it is a cop out. For once in your life get out of that comfort zone and actually believe in yourself! Believe it and you will achieve it!

This time will be different. I am not going to be content and stop here. I have much more to do. I can do it, and I will do it. I will continue to attack attack attack, until the enemy is utterly destroyed. This isn't a diet or a program that I am doing temporarily to shed a few pounds. This is my new life. These are new habits I am forming for life!

Over and out!

Damage Report!

Well, I weighed in last night, even though I was thinking about avoiding the scale after this week's debauchery with food and travel. My thinking was that I had probably gained weight, and I didn't want to depress myself by seeing the damage on the scale. Then, I realized that what I was actually doing was avoiding accountability. In Tom Venuto's book he talks about being accountable. And that lack of accountability is one of the biggest reasons people fail on diets.

I mulled it over in my head, as I stared at the scale in the corner of the training room at work. I was already dressed down for my nightly PT session. Then, I just decided, that I was avoiding accountability and responsibility for my actions if I did not weigh in. So, I stepped over to the digital scale, turned it on, and stepped on. To my surprise and relief I can say the damage isn't too bad. Looks like three days of complete abandonment of my eating principles cost me a gain of about 1.6 lbs.

Of course I'd rather have seen no gain at all, but I'm not going to complain. That's not a bad price to pay. And I can see how my new lifestyle is starting to embed itself in my brain and becoming habit. I know in times past a three day departure from my routine would have usually ended as a complete abandonment down the road of everything. This time, it wasn't even a struggle to get back in step with my new way of living. In fact, this time it was a relief to get back in the swing of things. I couldn't wait to get home, back to my healthy food. I couldn't wait to feel the pump of swollen muscles in the gym, and a sweat soaked t-shirt clinging to my skin as I pushed for one more minute on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical.

Am I obsessing about my health, nutrition, and weight loss? I hope so! That's what needs to happen to fully reach my goals. . . an obsession! Priority number ONE!

Goal for this week: I am going for two more pounds on the scale. By the time I workout on Tuesday morning at work, I am 218.2 lbs or under. I am two pounds lighter of fat because, I have eaten correctly and stayed with my program of working out. I have pushed myself this week to make sure I get those workouts in and that I am giving it 110% in the gym. I have also dutifully kept track of my calorie intake in my food journal. This has given me the baseline I need to keep track of my progress and to know where I stand at the end of each day.

Over and Out.